I'm Over Looking For More
“From guitars to saddles, big crowds to cattle; I ramble through this ol’ world.”
Life has a funny way of taking us through the refiner’s fire. We are ever changing and in that fact, maybe always searching for who or what we truly are. As a ranch wife, mother of 4, singer/songwriter, and cowboy girl, I have spent many hours wondering “What am I”.
There were many years that I thought, I am a wife and a mother. That is it, because those were and still are on the top of my priority list. Well, we all know that wasn’t possible because as a ranch wife, we are many many things. Cook for the crew, fencer, preg checker, horse trainer, range manager, kid wrangler; our days are ran by the supply and demand of life and we are stuck right smack dab in the middle of it all. SO……that being said, I once again wondered, “Who am I”.
I also write and sing cowboy music, which adds a whole other dynamic to the equation. I go from a very isolated, and quite life, dirt roads and horse corrals, to the stages and crowds. The people I have met along the way have only added to who I am, and in essence, “what I am”. The people have become a part of the journey.
I remember I was at the National Cowboy Poetry Gathering in Elko, NV back in 2015. There was a discussion panel about ranching in the day and age we are in. I believe it was called “Straddling the Fence” I was asked point blank, “What are you? A Ranch Wife/Mother or a Performer?” Once again, I was called out. I have thought about that question a lot and have come to the conclusion that, as much as the world would love to fit us all in a neat little box, with an easy to read description, we are all a whole of the experiences, people we meet, and lives that we live. We are a combination of past and present and the ever changing future. We won’t stay in a constant state, and who I am today is not necessarily who I will be tomorrow.
This summer, we have gone through many changes. My husband was in a horse accident the end of July which has once again changed my role around here. I have had to pick up some extra responsibilities and pull on my big girl pants. Perspective and attitude, we CAN do hard things. My youngest son Sam started Kindergarten last week……my oldest will be 17, that means for the last 17 years I have had someone to pal around with. What a change. Life is change…..
One thing is for sure though, I don’t need to wonder who I am. I am all of these things and what is to come. Life can build us but not define us. Attitude is everything. I love the different dynamics of my life. I love the fact that I can wear my Kimes Jeans here at home on the ranch, and get cleaned up and wear them again on stage. I love the fact that when I pack up for a trip I am usually packing a guitar, and a saddle. It is OK to be more than one thing. I know who I am.
“I’m a mother, a lover, a fighter a hugger, and I’m over looking for more.”